Reckless: Damaged & Destroyed #1 Read online

  A Damaged & Destroyed Novel #1

  by Lacey Heart

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Lacey Heart holds exclusive rights to this work.

  Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.

  Copyright © 2019 by Lacey Heart

  Formatted by Bookaholic Formatting

  For my beautiful alpha lovers.

  RIXON

  I look down as her cheeks hollow. Her soft, plump lips glisten as they glide up and down my solid cock with ease.

  I watch her intently, and I find myself wondering for a nano-second if she could ever be more than just a random groupie-fuck—a mere distraction for my damaged soul. Then just as fast the crazy ass thought vanishes as her tongue swirls around my tip, bringing me right back to the present moment. I breathe in on a sharp hiss and my balls tighten. Fuck, she's good. There's no goddamn way I'll be able to hold out much longer.

  These motherfuckers are gonna explode.

  Her hazel eyes meet mine, desperately seeking my approval, and I don't waste any time in giving it to her. I can't help but smirk arrogantly as I fist my hand deep into her jet-black hair, holding her steady and preparing her for what's to come.

  I pause and allow myself to lose myself in the smug feeling of power as her eyes widen, and then I thrust my cock deep into the back of her throat, fucking that perfect little face as I selfishly chase my release.

  My grip tightens and she sucks harder with each forceful thrust I deliver, taking me whole like a goddamn pro.

  All too soon I'm unloading into her perfect little mouth and she swallows it down like it's motherfucking unicorn juice. Damn, this chick doesn’t leave a damn drop.

  "You like that, baby?" she asks before her tongue chases the remnants from her lips. Her eyes are ablaze, glistening with hunger and power—a look I'm all too familiar with. I sure hope she enjoys the feeling while it lasts because her eyes will soon dim and lose their sparkle when she realizes she's nothing more than another easy chick to add to my never-ending collection—barely even a memory.

  I manage a small guilt-free smile when she stands and tries to get closer to me, but time has passed and the deed is done. There's no reason for me to be here with her anymore. I sure hope she's not too upset because she's not leaving empty-handed. Hell no, this chick just sucked the cock of a legend. What more could she possibly want? My magic stick in her mouth? It's like a blessing—one of the highest kind—a baptism of sorts given to the chosen ones of this life.

  I look at her again and rest my hand gently on her cheek, more out of habit than affection, because believe it or not, Rixon Smith was raised a gentleman. I guess it all comes down to my mood on how I act.

  You know, as I look at her, I can see she's a pretty little thing: small, curvy in all the right places with a mouth most men could only dream about and she's all here for the taking. But none of that matters to me. It means nothing.

  As I move closer, her eyes widen and her breathing hitches when I lean in, but my lips connect with her ear and not her mouth like she expected.

  "It's been fun," I whisper. I feel her shoulders fall in defeat as I pull away and I don't feel an ounce of regret as I turn around and walk straight out of the shower room.

  I'm a selfish son of a bitch. I'm out for myself in this life, and I've never claimed to be anything else.

  AMBER

  "Please tell me you're free tomorrow night."

  I stop scrolling through my newsfeed and look up at my best friend. Zara is stood before me in all her beautiful glory: tall, naturally tan, with long flowing golden curls and killer green eyes. How can someone be so damn perfect? I've yet to find the answer, but I often find myself asking the question.

  "I was kinda hoping for a relaxed weekend, you know before Monday?" I tell her truthfully. I have a busy week ahead and I know I'm going to need all the energy I can get. But then I also know if I say no it will land me in the shitty-friend zone. Something I could really do without.

  "I know, and I wouldn’t ask," Zara pleads as she steps closer to me, "but this is huge. We've just landed this last-minute high-profile event, and I know it will be perfect for you."

  "Back up. How would it be perfect for me? This is one of your events we're talking about, right?" I wonder if this is one of Zara's clever ways of sweetening me up so I'll agree to something she can attend and not miss out on.

  "It's an A-List event, Amber. Of course, it's perfect for you." She beams back at me like she's just solved all of the world's problems. I notice she's clutching her phone in her hand; most likely waiting for my answer so she can give the go ahead. "Just think of all that backstage juicy gossip you'll have before Monday, and you know it will stand in your favour." Zara wiggles her flawless eyebrows at me, hoping to convince me that I need this event in my life. Who knows, maybe I do? "Please say you'll do it for me?"

  How am I supposed to say no to her? Zara has worked her ass into the ground for her events business, and all I want is to see her succeed. This could be her chance, for her endless hours of hard work to pay off.

  "Fine," I say after a couple of moments, trying to pretend I've been thinking long and hard about my decision. Zara is already jumping up and down. "But, I'm not drinking and I'm only staying out for a couple of hours." I warn her, and I already know I don't sound all too convincing. But I mean it. As soon as I see she's all set up and settled, I'll be heading back home so I can have a relaxed and clear head for Monday. The last thing I need is something getting in the way of my new job.

  "Sure you are," Zara laughs. I knew she didn’t believe me.

  "I'm being serious." I shout out, trying my damned hardest to convince the both of us. "Next week is important to me. It's a big deal and I need to make sure my head's exactly where I need it to be. I need to be ready for action."

  If I'm being honest, next week could potentially be the best and biggest week of my life, so long as I avoid alcohol and any unnecessary distractions. But then at the same time I have witnessed first-hand how hard Zara has worked to make this happen, and there's no denying it's finally starting to grow some traction and pay off.

  "So, are you gonna tell me who the big celebrity is, or do I need to wait?"

  Zara falls onto the sofa and sighs dramatically, her arms flailing all around her and says, "I'd love to tell you suspense is everything… but, truthfully I don’t know who it is."

  "Yeah, course you don’t." How can you not know who you're organizing an event for? "Is it top secret? Have you signed a non-disclosure?"

  "Seriously, I don’t have a clue. I was told to organize something epic, with lots of alcohol and glamour, and for such a high-profile client there's no way I'm about to start asking questions." Zara's eyes grow wide as if she's just realized something before clamping her hand over her mouth. When she finally removes it, she looks at me. "Oh my god. This could be huge. Amber, if I pull this off, this event could open so many doors for me."

  "Babe, you've got this. I know you'll smash it, and I'll be by your side every step of the way."

  "I love you," suddenly my hand is snatched from my lap as Zara covers it with her own. "Now quit it before you make me cry. I need to focus on creating the event of the century." She wipes under her eyes, takes a deep breath and jumps up from the sofa. "Right, come on. We need to go shopping."

  "Wait, why?"

  "Because
I'm going to make sure this is a night to remember, and that means we need to leave a lasting impression."

  Any excitement I felt about Zara's up-and-coming event has vanished in an instant. If there's one thing I hate in this life more than men, that would be shopping.

  RIXON

  My heart is racing, beating hard against my chest. A cold sheen of sweat covers my body. But it's not enough. I still need more—so much more.

  I need to feel the pain, I need to feel the burn rushing through my body, but nothing is happening.

  My feet pound against the treadmill as I pick up speed, moving my legs faster, working them harder; but the thoughts won't leave my mind. They're relentless. They keep coming, stronger and stronger, dragging me back to a place I don't want to remember, let alone think about. But no matter how hard I try, I can't block them out.

  Working out, physically pushing my body to its limits, used to help distract my fucked-up mind, yet now it hardly touches the surface.

  "Yo, Rix,"

  I hear a voice call out behind me, but I'm determined to push myself further—no fucking distractions—but Craig continues to call out to me across my home gym and the next thing I know he's stood right next to me.

  "What?" I demand, wishing he was done already. I mean what's a guy got to do to get some fucking peace around here? I know it's not Craig's fault. I know the poor guy's only doing what I pay him to do, but it still irritates the crap out of me.

  "Olivia called. She said to call her as soon as you're done."

  "Didn’t you tell her I was busy?" Olivia knows I've got a big fight coming up in a couple of weeks. She's known me long enough not to mess with my training schedule too. What the fuck does she want me for anyway? Olivia has access to everything: my schedule and events, so there's no need to call me, especially on the weekend.

  "Don't shoot the messenger, big guy." Looking at Craig I can tell he knows I'm pissed. I hit the stop button on the machine and wait for it to slow down. Looks like I'm gonna need to find another distraction to keep those dark shadows at bay.

  "Sorry, man." I slap Craig playfully on the shoulder as I step off and grab a towel from the side. "Bad night, " I say knowing full well this is enough for Craig to understand where my head is at. Craig has been my right-hand man since I stepped into this crazy-ass life that I'm now living.

  Actually, if it wasn’t for Craig, I probably wouldn’t be stood here today. Fuck, who the hell am I trying to kid? Without this son of a bitch I would have been six-feet under a long time ago, and even though he drives me insane at the best of times, I sure wouldn’t be without him.

  "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry you need to deal with Liv, but at least you can unwind later." Craig smirks back at me, and it's a look I know oh so well, followed by a playful slap to my shoulder. "I'm sure you'll find a better distraction amongst all those eager chicks tonight."

  I pull the towel away from my face and scowl back at Craig. What is he talking about? What chicks?

  "Olivia," I snap down the line as soon as she picks up.

  "Oh, hey, Rixon. So good of you to finally return my calls," she replies, and her sarcasm is heavy in her tone. Usually I'd laugh it off, but I'm in no mood for her games.

  "How about you quit the bullshit, Liv?" I hurl at her. I'm probably going overboard but I don’t give a damn.

  "Excuse me? What’s gotten into you?" I can tell she's upset with the way I'm speaking to her, but again I couldn’t care less. I'm pissed, and it's high time she knew it too.

  "When were you gonna tell me about this stupid fucking endorsement you've set up? Before or after the event?" My voice rises and I can feel the anger bubbling deep within me and I know if I don’t get a lid on it and fast, I'll end up doing something I'll live to regret.

  "Hey, don't be an ass with me. Maybe if you returned my calls once in a while, I would have had the opportunity to tell you about it."

  "Bullshit. This is some major fucked-up bullshit, Liv, and you know it. You weren’t gonna tell me at all. You would have had me turn up to some stupid function and then it would have been too late." My fist slams down on the table and I know I need to rein it in, but it's so fucking hard to control my temper right now. I haven’t been sleeping, I can’t clear my head, and now Liv has thrown this shit at me. Something is gonna blow, and I'm worried I won't be able to stop it if I don't keep a check on it.

  "I really don't get why you're so mad."

  "Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Vodka… did you hear that? Vodka. Are you being for real, Liv? How long have you known me? How long have you worked for me?" I demand, hoping to make her see what a crazy idea this is.

  "Calm down. It's just an endorsement deal, Rixon. With your face on it you and the company will make a shit-ton of money. I don't see what's wrong with that?"

  "Yeah, sure I'll make a decent cut, but so will you with your twenty-five percent, right?" I force myself to sit down before I finally erupt and break something. "Fucking vodka, Liv. You know I steer well fucking clear of it."

  And for good reason too.

  AMBER

  The girl staring back at me is unrecognizable. This isn’t me. Instead, in my place, is a beautiful, strong, and confident person, and I like her. I like her a hell of a lot.

  I've never been a big fan of dresses—being girly never really appealed to me—but this gold number that Zara picked out for me is something else. It fits me like a glove, emphasizing my curves in all the right places, and I can't stop staring.

  My long, slim legs are on show which is also another first for me, and I smile a happy, genuine smile, totally comfortable with my reflection for the first time in as long as I can remember.

  I decide to let my hair fall loose—something I haven’t done in such a long time. A reminder of a hideous past, but if I'm gonna go all out then I may as well do it in style. I've also chosen a bold smoky eye with a natural lip. It's amazing what a bit of make-up can do for your confidence, but I still don't think I'll be wearing it as much as I used to. After all, this is a special occasion. One which warrants make-up and fancy dresses.

  Now I'm not feeling as anxious about this event as I was earlier. Honestly, I'm feeling quite excited about it, but I'm still being a good girl. I've made it crystal clear to Zara I want to be back home at a reasonable hour—and not her kind of reasonable either.

  "Wow," Zara says as I make my way into the living area. "Where's Amber, and what has this little sex kitten done with my best friend?"

  "Er, thanks, I think?" I laugh back at her and I feel more confident than I've felt in years, but also a little exposed.

  "You look incredible." Zara says but then she's quick to backtrack, "not that you don’t look incredible every day because you do, but wow… you're sure about to turn some heads tonight."

  I breathe in hoping that's not going to be the case. Tonight isn’t about me. Tonight is all about Zara and how far she's come. It has nothing to do with me and my hidden demons. Now it's finally Zara's time to shine and being the amazing friend I am, I'll be there, right by her side cheering her on every damn step of the way. Well, until I need to head back home, then I'll be cheering her on in spirit, but I'll still be there in some way.

  A horn sounds from outside signalling our Uber has arrived.

  This is it—Zara's moment—and I couldn’t be any prouder. However, when I look over to her, all the colour has drained from her face. She looks grey. "Hey, you okay?" I place my hand on her arm to steady her. Jeez, the last thing either of us needs is for her to pass out. "How about I grab you some water?"

  Zara shrugs off my concern and shakes her head, her golden curls bouncing along making her look like the fierce lioness she really is. "No, no. I'm good. Last minute nerves, is all. I'll be fine as soon as the fresh air hits me."

  I really hope she's right. I bet she hasn’t even eaten today, and that's something I'll be rectifying as soon as we get there. "You sure?"

  "About as sure as I'll ever be, but with you by
my side I know I'll be fine."

  RIXON

  "I'm not happy about this," I bark out and my voice booms out all around us.

  Not happy is a fucking understatement. I'm fucking furious, and I can't remember feeling this angry in a long time. Now a statement like that coming from someone with crazy-ass anger issues is saying something. It speaks fucking volumes, but no one gives a damn about anything other than this stupid event.

  My body tenses, my palms are cold and clammy, and it takes everything I have to rein it in. Man, if I blow, I know there'll be no coming back from the shit-storm which will erupt, and all my hard work would have been for nothing.

  "Rix?"

  I pinch the bridge of my nose, close my eyes, and breathe. "Not now, Liv." I warn, struggling to keep the anger at bay and I know she can hear it in my voice.

  Maybe Liv made a mistake and didn’t realize the impact this endorsement could cause. Maybe she did, but she thought fuck it and went ahead anyway? I suppose it doesn’t matter because the bottom line is, she fucked-up—immensely.

  I know my issues and flaws better than anyone. I sure as hell know I'm many things, but I like to think I'm nothing but professional when it comes to business and I sure as hell know it would be bad form for me to pull out of an event at the last minute. For me, that shit's unheard of, and that's the only goddamn reason why I'm going ahead with this bullshit.

  "Look, I've said I'm sorry," her hand falls down on my arm and I reluctantly relax some. "I didn’t mean to upset you, Rix, and I really didn’t think you'd react this badly. You're stronger now." She squeezes my arm, showing she cares, and I know she does, maybe a little too much. But she should have consulted me on this before going ahead with it.